Oh, how I’ve missed you. You’ve not been far from my thoughts. But, somehow, life got in the way.
My last post was my first day back at work. The pink balloons and flowers, the t-shirts, tears and hugs; somehow it singled both an end and a beginning. I was quite simply blown away with the emotion of that day…and the next day…and the next…
I had so much work to catch up on and after awhile, I just wanted to put it all behind me. I didn’t want to be hailed as a “cancer survivor” anymore. I didn’t want to discuss procedures and lab results. I wanted to have mundane conversations about grading papers, doing laundry, and how the kids were doing.
Already, some of the tender souls I had met during my stay at Hope Lodge had lost their battles. Others, like me, wanted no more reminders about their brush with mortality and so communication slowed…and then stopped. It was time to move on.
So, I immersed myself in “living” and put reflection on the back burner for awhile. Blogging became one of those things that I would get to “when I had time.” And time being an elusive stag in the mist, kept flitting and darting farther ahead, leaving me to mindlessly march in my straight line, hoping our paths would intersect again at some point.
Now, here I am. Hoping you’ll take me back. Fervently praying I have something worthwhile to say. And that you will still want to listen.
My purpose, at the very beginning of this blogging journey, was to document my transition from small town teacher to big city career aspirant. But, cancer somehow stole the show.
Now, I am literally two months from my retirement date. My weekends are full of filling out job applications and tweaking my LinkedIn Profile. I’ve got my heart set on a sweet little apartment in the charming town of New Hope, PA and I compulsively check to see whether it’s been snapped up by someone else yet. So, far, it remains empty — teasing me with its 14 pictures of granite counter tops, patio and deck, wood burning fireplace and glistening pool.
I already see myself standing on the patio in the morning, hands wrapped around a mug of hot coffee, planning my trek into town for groceries. Visions of family dinners, feasting and laughing with my son and daughter gathered around our dining room table in the new “desirable open floor plan,” haunt me daily. Moving south will mean being closer to both my children. I miss them dearly.
Perhaps it is a good thing that “life” absorbed me for awhile and kept me from you. Surely, you would have tired of my daydreams and the inevitable “counting of days” would have worn on your nerves.
So, here I stand. Well, not exactly stand...I’m fidgeting and edgy. More like bouncing on my toes.
I can’t wait to get going on the next leg of this journey. I’m reaching out to you and wondering…will you join me?
Because I’d sure love your company along the way.
I hope to sit out on your new deck, enjoying good conversation and coffee!
There will always be a seat at the table and a fresh brew waiting for you in my home. Love you, Kelly.
I will always be your faithful fan.
You’re the best. Can’t wait to see you this weekend!
So glad you’re back to writing for public consumption… Now could there be a little more CNR in the next post? Fpt
There can never be enough Charles Nelson Reilly….get those sneakers ready!